Adhesion
by TheGrammarNeurotic
Summary: Three adolescent Time Lords and an enormous container of glue. What could possibly go wrong?


_Author's note: Theta is the Doctor, and Koschei is the Master. Consult Google if you do not believe me._

* * *

The suns beamed down on two young Gallifreyans as they scurried through the streets of their city. Between them they carried a jug which was far heavier than it looked. They were laughing about something when a boy about their age rounded a corner ahead.

"Zero-division," swore the smaller of the two.

The newcomer strutted up to them as they set down their burden. "Hello, idiots."

"Look, Theta," the smaller boy said to his friend. "Epsilon is ginger today."

"Not fair!" the one called Theta lamented. "When do I get to be ginger?"

Epsilon arched one eyebrow. "Hair color is hardly so exciting. What is that?" He pointed to the jug.

"Oh, it's just an experiment," Theta said dismissively.

"Yes," his friend agreed. "You probably wouldn't be any help to poor imbeciles like us."

"Let me see it." Epsilon twisted the lid off of the container. He peered into it, then stepped back and frowned at the other two boys. "Adhesion gel?"

"I'm sure it's nothing of interest to you," Theta insisted, recapping the jug and struggling to lift it.

Epsilon trotted along after them as they headed for the school laboratories. "What are you doing with that much adhesion gel?"

"Not that you care."

"Koschei," Theta scolded, "I don't really care if you're rude or not, but you could at least grab the other side of our substrate while you're snubbing him."

By the time the three boys arrived at the labs and heaved the jug up onto a table, Theta had told Epsilon that they intended to improve the adhesive power of the gel by a factor of twelve. He winked across the room at Koschei when their nemesis plunged eagerly into the project.

An hour had passed before Epsilon thought to ask how they planned to test the strength of the improved adhesion gel. By then, Theta and Koschei were busily funneling the substance back into its original container. The smaller of the boys tilted his head and grinned in a way that bared all of his teeth.

"Aren't you going to come and see?"

Theta choked back a giggle.

Epsilon tagged along as they lugged their experimental compound outdoors again. Not far from the school stood a towering monolith formed in a geometric pattern. The interloper's beady little eyes widened.

"What are we gluing to the Singularity Monument?"

The other two fought hard against a gale of giggles.

Koschei and Theta carefully lowered their burden to the ground. They then hurried to assemble an apparatus from pieces they had hidden in the area some hours earlier. Epsilon scowled at them.

"That's a magnetic catapult."

"Yes."

"And?"

He nudged Theta out of the way. "And the proton coil is in backwards," he scoffed as he corrected the error. He never saw the other two boys grinning at each other behind his back.

When the catapult was finished, the three of them stood back and admired their work. "So," Theta said cheerily, "who's first?"

"There is no way you two bunglers can work this out on your own," Epsilon announced. "You need my help with everything."

"It sounds like we have a volunteer." Koschei took the jug and slopped adhesion gel onto their rival.

Before Epsilon could protest, Theta launched into an explanation. "Given variations in body mass and aerodynamics, three test subjects are better than two. If the experiment is successful, we'll stick to the monument."

"If not, we get broken bones," Epsilon objected.

"It's fine if you want to walk away." Koschei shrugged. "But you'll never know if you could beat us."

Epsilon's eyes gleamed. "What's the contest?"

Theta locked the calibration controls of the catapult. "To see who can get stuck the highest up the monument."

For a long moment, Epsilon fixed the two of them with a stony stare. Then he stepped between the magnets.

"Charge it up."

The catapult whined, and in moments Epsilon soared through the air. Three young Gallifreyans held their breath, hoping that the gel would hold. Epsilon struck the side of the sculpture with a grunt and a curse. Below, Theta and Koschei leaned forward, willing him to...

He stuck.

With a whoop of triumph, Theta poured adhesion gel onto himself and sprang into the catapult. Koschei stopped him with a glance.

"You know," the smaller boy said, "we could just leave him there."

"Don't be ridiculous," Theta declared. "I'm going to get higher than him. Launch!"

Crowing with delight, Theta sailed through the air, limbs windmilling wildly until he struck the side of the monument. He stuck a little higher than Epsilon, almost in reach of him.

"Hah!" he shouted to Koschei. "Beat that!"

The smaller boy stared up at the two of them, his face impassive. He met Theta's gaze for a long moment. Then, quite deliberately, he turned away.

"Koschei!" Theta called to him, not quite believing that his his friend would simply walk away. Not from a competition. "Do you really want to settle with third place?"

When Koschei stepped into the catapult, he held his head high. He braced for launch, grinning maniacally. The catapult whined as the magnets charged a final time, and then a pulse of electrokinetic force launched him through the air. He curled his small frame into a ball.

Wide-eyed, Theta and Epsilon watched as Koschei flew considerably higher than they had managed. He stuck near the top of the monument. His triumphant grin flashed all of his teeth toward his peers.

"I believe someone suggested that I beat the both of you?"

Theta shouted a few insults up at his friend while Epsilon laughed at him. The suns shone brightly in their arc across the sky. A breeze tugged at the boys' hair and teased loose bits of their clothing. Theta reached for the bottle of solvent in his pocket.

His pocket was stuck firmly against the monument.

Glancing upward, he saw Koschei engaged in a similarly fruitless struggle to free himself. Below, Epsilon simply placed both palms against the sculpture and pushed with all of his strength. The adhesion gel would not yield.

They all three looked at each other.

"Now what?"


End file.
